Everyone knows that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you get when you remember your ex, even for just a second, and it makes you sink in your boots a little bit.
Well, I had that today. And it totally sucked. Going along with my otherwise wonderful day when all of a sudden, this man calls my house phone twice, “Bueno? …Bueno?” in a Hispanic accent.
I remembered that my ex would answer the phone that way for me if she was feeling silly and a little arrogant. She was the only other person who I have ever heard answer the phone that way, rather than in English. I assumed that I was feeling sad because somewhere deep down, I wanted it to be her calling. But then I realized that it was just in making her feel real again that I was upsetting myself.
Everyone hits that bump in the road you are going down. You are ready to let go and you take a step back that was unexpected. Terrible. Because I have given into that pain I think I should be feeling. When, in fact, I should really be moving on to the other fish in the sea.
Think about it seriously. Do you really miss them? Or do you just miss the role they played in your life? Because I miss her, I do, but I know she isn’t the same person, so I just miss the role she used to play in my life. It another person were filling that void right now, it would probably be okay. But if she isn’t the person she used to be, then she can’t play the same role in my life.
Everyone is thinking how much it sucks that I am pointing this out, because the day you realize that half of the climb is admitting how much of the emotion we feel about our exs comes from our mental perception of what we think we need. The day you realize that you don’t necessarily miss them specifically, that day wll come farther on down the road than you may expect, but it is a good sign.
Everyone has to reflect on relationships in order to find closure and consider the future. That reflection is necessary, but it reminds you of what you don’t have anymore. Remind yourself to get out of the bubble of emotions for a second and consider the practicality of the situation. Choose your sins wisely and stop pining over pithy situations.
Tony Ray Baker
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Tony Ray
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