The Way of the Fairie
Coming out is not a snap decision, but, as William Faulkner said, you cannot swim to a better land until you are willing to lose sight of the shore. So, if you are not out yet, trust this old queer when I say releasing the entrapment of the closet is a most liberating step in your life’s journey. You never know how tight your shoes are until you go barefoot.
Only you know the right time to come out. If you feel the need to remain in the closet, imagine me guarding the door. But promise me one favor, to begin easy conversations with a trusted someone about your queerness. Simple chats around your LGBTQI+ feelings can be very healing. The day you come out, know your Tucson queer community offers organizations, counseling, social groups, and publications like GayTucson.com. I hope the person who needs to read this does so.
But wait a minute. Being yourself is the big prize for coming out? To be allowed to be who you are, is the reward? That’s it? I feel like the kid who, when told Santa left him a pile of manure, said, “There must be a pony here somewhere.” May I suggest, “There must be a higher queer purpose here somewhere?”
You straddled difficult emotions during your Fairie training—a right of passage phase to learn to live life on life’s terms when you experience homophobia, rejection, and shame. Your struggles along the way were only refined your Fairie vision of a live and let live planet. A world where just a little kindness is disallowed because it hurts more than outright rejection. It wasn’t always easy, and at times, the loss of privilege was so intense you tried to fit in with what hetero society expected of you, but it still didn’t quite work. It’s okay. Most of us tried it.
Your reward for coming out is to walk the way of the Fairie. You had the chance to stay hidden, but you came out and added your name to a letter in our lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer, intersex, pansexual, two-spirit, (2S), androgynous and asexual acronym. For now, LGBTQQIP2SAA…. Why the lingering dots? Fairies know letters are missing and still coming. Who could be missing, you ask? We won’t know until they show up, will we? But they’re coming. It’s too late to stop it. What began fifty-three years ago at Stonewall is approaching warp speed.
As a Fairie, you model an authentic life for everyone to see and be themselves, not just queer people. Everyone needs to feel safe being who they are– all colors, sizes, and lifestyles. The reward for coming out is your beautiful lifetime vision of a world of inclusiveness. You know you walk the way of the Fairie when you challenge the status quo by just walking into a room. You catch yourself thinking, “There’s a better world. I know there’s more.”